3 Steps To Curing “The Breakup Blues”

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Got That Feelin’ Of The Breakup Blues

No, that’s not the name of a love song, but I’m sure you’ve listened to your fare share already, reliving those memories, which are now extremely painful.

It feels like you’re a self-cutter.

What is that empty hole after a breakup, anyway?  Why does a breakup make you feel so utterly lost and alone?  Well, first I’ll tell you that you’re not the only one to have ever felt like this.  And you’re certainly not alone.

A breakup is a time of grieving.  You grieve the times you had that you won’t ever have again.  You grieve all of those cute things he used to do.  You grieve and wonder if you’re going to find a love like him again.  All of this grieving can definitely get a girl down in the dumps.  Not only that, but these thoughts can be really isolating.

How Do I Get Out Of This Funk?

So, how do you start feeling better after a breakup?  Well, first of all, there is not shame in the funk!  If it’s been over a month or two months after a breakup and you’re still feeling low, and at this point your friends are telling you to snap out of it, you might start to feel embarrassed to share your story of woe.

A lot of women feel alienated or embarrassed after a breakup and start asking themselves, “what’s wrong with me?”

Well, I’ll be the first to tell you that there’s nothing wrong with you.  Grief is not just an emotional reaction, but a chemical reaction, so what your feeling is extremely common.

Here’s The Catch

You can’t let the grief take over your life!

Have you ever heard of a woman who loses her one true love and vows to never love again, and she doesn’t?  Or how about a friend you have who keeps going from broken-to-broken relationship?

These women have one thing in common; they didn’t properly heal their breakup.  They let it get to them, they let it rule their lives.

Don’t let that be you!

How To Kick Grief In The Arse!

Okay, so in order to get your life back you’re going to have get your grief in check.  You’ll need to start by setting aside a time to grieve.  Yeah, you heard me right.  Instead of letting your tears roll at work, while you’re out enjoying yourself, or spending time with other people you love, you’re going cry those tears and listen to those mopey songs from the safety and privacy of your own home.

Step 1 – Pick a time to grieve, preferably in the evening, everyday.  Give yourself time alone where you can cry, look at old photos, listen to “your” love songs and just be sad.

Step 2 – Limit your time to 30 minutes, time yourself if you need to.  Then when the time is up, tell yourself out loud, (insert name here), it’s time to stop!  We’re done for the day.

Step 3 – Go back to your normal life and do the things that you promised yourself to do, and stop isolating yourself so much.  You might have to force yourself at first, but it will help, I promise!  Remember the friends and family who love you and support you?  Allow them to!  Go back to doing the things you love, it will bring back the same joy you had in your life before you met him.

How Is This Going To Help Me?

You may think this is crazy.  You may ask yourself how forcing yourself to be sad is going to make you feel better.  Here’s what this exercise will do.  It will show your emotions that you are in control of them, and not the other way around.

You will train your mind and your heart to answer to what you want.  And, if I’m not mistaken, what you want is joy, right?

Good! I thought so!

Remember, everything you’re feeling is perfectly normal.  But, you are the one who is in charge of your life and your emotions.  Take back your life, because no man is worth a life full of sorrow.

with gratitude,

Katya

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1 Comment

  1. Melody says:

    Well he broke up with me on Easter, through a text. He told me that I am always sad but its hard not to be with all I’ve gone through my whole life.

    He’s told me he wants to go to the marines and I was finally getting adjusted but we had a small bicker like usual and then he broke up with me, he told me that he didn’t love me anymore, and it hit me so hard, I’m still struggling.. the day after we broke up I walked to his house to see if he’d take me back but he wasn’t home and I left the letter/drawing I made for him at his door.

    I left crying and his mom tried to cheer me up but it made it harder. a few days later he told me to go away, don’t talk to his friends (our friends) never go near his house or anything. and recently he has been talking to me and saying things that make me confused.. but he doesn’t remember any of the hurtful things he told me, he isn’t going to the marines.. so he just left me broken hearted and alone.

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