Are You In The “FriendZone” With Your Ex?

Are You & Her Still Calling, Texting, Or Seeing Each Other?

If so… you still might have a chance with her!

So, you broke up but you’re still on pretty good terms. At times it may even feel like you’re getting back together… The problem is that you’re at a standstill. Every time you feel like you’re getting closer to her she throws a wrench in the whole thing… says she doesn’t love you, tells you she started dating, or even worse, calls you her “friend”.

Maybe you still talk all of the time. You still have a deep connection, and you’re still the guy she runs to when she needs something, but something is off… She’s acting colder than usual and you can’t read her most of the time.

1 Major Sign To Tell If You’re In “The FriendZone”

It Feels Like A “One Way” Street With Her. She texts you sometimes to check in on you, or maybe she even calls and you guys have pretty regular heart-to-hearts, but when you reach out to her it’s “crickets”. She asks you to come over to do her a favor or maybe decides that she wants to hang out with you one night, but then when you ask her to hang out when you want to, she’s always unavailable. You notice that most of the time she reaches out only when she needs something, whether it’s an ear to listen, some help around the house, or to join her when she doesn’t want to go alone to an event.

If every time she connects with you is only when she wants to, then she has probably started to see you as a friend. She knows that you will be there for her, and that even if she refuses you when you want something from her, whether it’s spending time with her, or responding to one of your text messages, that you will still be there. In this scenario she doesn’t need to change her behavior in order to keep you around. So, while you may think you’re spending “quality time” together, there is no reason for her to want more with you because she can have her cake and eat it too.

Why Are You In The “FriendZone” & What To Do About It

So, how did you get here? How did you end up being her friend? And how the hell do you get her to be your loving girlfriend, again?

One of the main reasons that guys get into the friendzone with their ex is because they start playing by her rules. What I mean by that is if she starts acting like hanging out with you or communicating with you is a “one way street”, and you keep accepting her behavior, she will subconsciously lose respect for you. Imagine a close friend of yours started only responding to your texts every once in a while, when they wanted to, or demanded that the two of you hung out when “they” wanted, doing what they wanted to do. In the case of your friend… would you put up with this behavior? My guess is probably not. You would probably call your friend out on their shit!

Now, imagine this same scenario is happening with your ex, and you keep going along with her behavior without drawing any sort of boundaries for what’s appropriate behavior and what’s not. She begins to think that she can treat you this way and you will go along with it, all the while, her attraction for you wanes because you are not being the strong man that you used to be.

Have Her See You As Her “Boyfriend”, Again!

If you want your ex to start seeing you as her boyfriend instead of her friend, you will have to start drawing boundaries with her.

Boundaries are necessary to keep the power balance in all relationships. A boundary is a rule that you create, communicate, and ask someone else to follow. In a sense, it is the way that you are asserting how you want other people to treat you.

One easy boundary you can start to put in place is practicing saying “no”. If you’re used to your ex calling you and spilling all of her emotional drama onto you, the next time she calls, let her know that you’re busy and that you can talk another night when it is convenient for you. if she wants you to come over and help her with something around the house, but when you reach out to hang out she plays mum, it’s time to say no to doing her household chores.

Practice saying “no” in various situations with her when it feels like she wants something from you but the favor isn’t a two-way street. Be firm with her and notice any shifts she may have to your changing behavior.

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