How To Get Over Someone You Are Still in Love With

The first step in getting over someone, regardless of how much you are still in love with him or her is to STOP trying to get back together…

Being heartbroken SUCKS… And the pain and shock first few nights and weeks after breaking up are the WORST…

This is when your mind keeps churning with ways of getting back together, trying to make sense of what happened to drive you two apart… And sometime with that comes painful anxiety tempting you to contact him/her.

DON’T do it.

The main reason people RUIN their chances of staying friends with their ex or at least having some kind of relationship in the future…

And the reason most people feel stupid about how they handled it later…

"Get Over Someone You Love"

Is because they acted out of DESPERATION.

So regardless of your situation, take a break and step back…

And don’t allow yourself to be seen as the “ex” who keeps calling, texting, emailing…

The “ex” who kept trying even though things were clearly endingThe “ex” who cried or begged…

The “ex” who mistakes being WEAK with being “hopelessly in love”…

You” start to really get over someone you are still in love with when you stop allowing him/her to make it MORE PAINFUL for you…

And the more you leave yourself open for him/her to reject you again, the more painful it will be for you.

One of the toughest parts about trying to get over an ex is that your mind will hardly let you think about anything else… Especially if you’re still in love with him/her.


The biggest regret that almost all the guys I have interviewed have told me is that they didn’t accept that it was happening… So they kept trying to convince her or show her how important she is. And that not only did they spend most of their time fantazing about winning her back (or getting back at her) but they ended up staying hung up on her long after she had moved on.

As painful as it is what you are going though is natural… and for a while it will be almost impossible to not to keep thinking about your ex…

BUT everytime you act on your thoughts and contact your ex, it will give you MORE to think about and stew on..and you’ll get further away from getting over the breakup and the pain of having a broken heart…

When you feel an especially powerful urge to call or talk to her, those are the times you are the mostly likely to say or do something you’ll feel stupid for later. DON’T DO IT.

How much strength you have now is going to be one of the lasting impression your ex has of you… So its important keep your cool and avoid reaching out no matter how tempting it may seem in the moment.

In the meantime it’s really important to do whatever it take to really get over this love and start to move on…

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  1. Broderic says:

    Kk i hope this will help. But my situation and half the same and half different. You see, i fell in love with her after talking with her for about 4 months in the relationship. I told her that i love her, she wasn´t sure at first, but after proving my feelings 2 her again and being the best man i can be she finally said that she loved me. But then…after 2 months of her saying that she loved me. About 2weeks before christmas. She called me and said that she didn´t want to tell me the truth, because she didn´t want to hurt me. And she was only telling me that she loved me because it made her happy to see me happy. She told me that she didn´t want a relationship and that she was sorry for lying 2 me. But that she didn´t love me the way i loved her. And she didn´t want to see a good person like me hurt by someone like her. It…really…hurt me. And…i literally fell on my knees and cryed. And she could hear me crying over the phone. So she started to cry aswell , i never heard her cry before. I knew that it hurt her 2 say it as well. But she hurt me more than it hurt her. After 1 month 2 today i still love her. We haven´t been in contact for awhile. I always wonder what she is doing, but i resist the urge 2 call her. Please help me!! I´m…I Don´t know what to do!

    • Ana says:

      What you have to do is sit down and think whether this is worth it or not. Can you see yourself together with someone who lied to you about her feelings? I know this may seem harsh, but you probably won’t want to have a relationship where there was no truth, especially if honesty is one of your most important values. Getting over someone is the toughest part of a relationship, and nobody should ever have to go through it alone. Know that if you call her, all the feelings of love that you have for her are going to come back and they’ll hit you harder. You have to realize that giving up might be the only way of helping yourself. If she has some feelings, you would have to give her time to decide whether this is what she wanted or not. What you do in the meantime is go out, try to get your mind off of her. Watch your favorite shows, turn off your phone at night, go out with friends, and as much as you can’t bring yourself to, ask friends if they have friends that you could date. Eventually it’ll get better, it always has to.

  2. gigi says:

    I need help I’ve been deeply in love with my childs father. My child is now 12. I’ve known him for 17 years. There’s nothing I haven’t done for him always been there for him we had been thru a lot both had serious issues we went thru I passed up every guy n other opportunities.because I couldn’t imagine anyone else. I moved away like4 hours for personal reasons but always still loved him bt I moved back 5 months ago thinking we could start over but after all this I now find out he only want,s a relationship as far as parents and tjats all he is the one I thought I would marry n be with forever.there was no doubt n my mind but guess I was wrpmg I can’t except ot r understand I can’t move on without him bt he has moved on I dnt np r believe I can o can’t gt out of bed ove been hurt before bt thos a whole different level I’m lost without him empty n feels like a part of me iz missing. Please help any suggestions how to make the pain n loneliness n how to fill the emptiness get netter pplz give something r anything I can’t live like this how does he not have anything left emotionaly I dnt gt it I feel like I lost my future an my family I always wanted ..HELPPPP thanx for anything that’ll help even alil. Thanks


  3. Nathan says:

    I grew up in a little town. My dad was an alcoholic and my mom never had time for me. For these reasons I have some trust issues. So me and my girlfriend have been on and off for the past 7 months. A couple days ago I asked her out and later this week she went over to her friends house who just happens to be her ex boyfriend, hes an asshole but she really wants to be friends with him. I got nervous and accused her of cheating and that was proven false, but me still being an idiot I said we needed to take a break. Then a few days past. My parents had left for Maui and so I had a few days alone with my brother, so last night I decided to invite her to stay the night. We started talking about stuff and I started remembering a bunch of stuff that I missed and got a bit depressed, we both got a bit frustrated with eachother and went on a walk and that chilled us out, anyways. I see this girl all the time and she wants to see me all the time just as much. I love her like crazy but she doesn’t want to be back together yet if at all. I do. I’m trying to get over her but I see her all the time, like atleast three or four times a week. I need to get over her, hopefully without stopping seeing her. I want to be friends just as much as she does so we can keep a relationship. Hopefully that makes sense. Anyways, I want to be friends for now but I’m still not over her and I don’t want to stop seeing her.
    Help if you can…

  4. marmei says:

    I need help. I dont know what to do. My fiance broke up with me 2 days ago because he said that he couldnt trust me. We have been together almost 3 yrs now and was planing on having a baby. When we first started dating, everything was so perfect! I knew I found the love of my life. But then I lied to him about a necklace i got from my ex. After that my fiance said that he couldnt trust me and that he constantly walked around being scared that i would cheat on him. I tried all 3 yrs that we had been together trying to convince him that i loved him and that i would never ever cheat or lie to him ever again. I have never cheated on him. I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life! But his jealousy and control issues took completely over! I knew that this relationship wasnt right, bu the man i fell in love with was so perfect! i refused to see anything else than my perfect man. And now he has broken up with me. I have been crying non stop. I cant eat, drink, sleep, work or anything. I desperately want to be with this man! I love him so much. He even called me and said that he loved me too and missed me, and that he wanted me back. Should I? Im so confused! I feel like i have made the biggest mistake of my life, not saying YES and running back to me when he said that he wanted me back. I belive him when he says that he loves me, but like he says: he cant give me any guarantees that things will change over night. Thats the same thing he`s been telling me the last 2-3 yrs. I wish he would just change and take a chance on me. TRUST ME! i dont know what to do. Im so lost and depressed. I miss him so much and he`s the love of my life! He puts the blame on me, telling me that he has tried to get back with me. its me who doesnt want to get back with him. He says that my demands are to much. And that he cant just push a button, and everything will be perfect again. But then i think. If he loves me as much as he claims he does, then why doesnt he just change? why doesnt he just take a chance and trust me? Why doesnt he come to me with a 100 roses, telling me how sorry he is, telling me that im the love of his life too? Because thats what I would do for him if i broke up, and wanted him back. I would do anything for him! I miss him so much and i dont want him to disappear from my life completly. I want him to want me. I want him to trust me! Am I the weird one here? Is it my fault? Please help me!!!!!

  5. teelevy says:

    we have ben with some one all most 2years we was friends from kids on them the passing of a close friend we wound each other he came in my life when I was in a dark place we fight we cry but after a year the fighting got old and a I asked him to leave but I’m still in love with him even I’v moved on when I see his car I look I ride by his house at night I need help

  6. Melissa says:

    I am kinda lost on this one because we were so honest about each other.His ex was and is living with a man so we started to talk. I was letting go of 14yr relationship and his had been 4 yrs. He knew mine and I knew his,After 6 months of talking he wanted to share bills and a life so I thought.Then he moved his two grown kids on me as well and that seemed fine.We seemed fine the 1rst month or so. His work was slow and he gave me maybe a 1oo a wk for all of them.When I told him he had to step up things got a little strange.Also he was still texting his ex and she him even with her living with this other guy.I did not have an issue at 1rst till he put her name as a guys name and I called him on it.He then put it back as her name and yes I was childish and blocked her on his phone.I wanted to see how long before he said something,not long I did not lie about doing so.Then seemed to grow cold and distant.I asked what was going on he said he was going to move he had been planing it.His 18 yr knew before me.He said he had fallen out of love as quick as he had fallen in,I told him why wait so he left .came back the nxt day for his son and stuff.I just have a feeling it was about her or someone.I feel so stupid for letting my guard down.There were many more clues I just thought he loved me as much as he said I just feel like I was played.

  7. Tip says:

    Hi, me and my guy just broke up 5 days a go we haven talk r seen each other I think he is seeing someone else what can I do to get over this we wear together for about 7yrs. live together for a year. I need help all I do is think about him. and it wasn’t a good relationship he was a lowdown ass person at time. and a nice person the other time.

  8. cindy says:

    wow, how heartbreaking but comforting to see all the stories on here. When we open our hearts we also are opening to the possibility of getting hurt. I had a soul mate 25 years ago, we broke up because of my parents, but we have reconnected and have been talking and texting back and forth for 9 months. He is married, and has been for 20 years. He feels guilty for loving both me and his wife,and because he has drank for some years, they have not been really connected for years. The other day he was telling me i could rent out my house and move in to his, and that his wife could take what she wanted, etc etc.. 2 days later, he was saying how much he loved her etc etc. i said he has been suffering in that relationship for years, and if he did’nt change anything, nothing would change!! I said it is hard for me to hear him beat himself up with guilt. he said if he had to choose between her and i now, he would kill himself. I have had other relationships, but nothing compared ever to what we had. I knew what it was like to be the other half of someones soul. So today he said he had to fix himself and couldn’t have ‘distractions’, meaning me, and said he’s sorry if this is hard on me. I’m broken. I am focusing on my anger right now, it will help me get over the hurt i feel. I also feel a bit responsible for his struggles, cause all those years ago i let my parents get between us, and he’s been suffering ever since!! If he was just a guy i met, i would run so far the other way, but its him…. thanks for the vent!!

  9. ben says:

    Ny girl fell in love with my best friend very very sad.

  10. jessica says:

    i started off being just friends with this guy.We met through a friend and we were inseparable at the time he had a girlfriend then they broke up.We would flirt with each other but it wasnt serious. But i stayed the night with his sister because were really good friends. he left to go to a party but they came home @ like 8 in the morning. I had his cover around me and he was just flirting with me. Later that day we madeout 4/5 times that day. He asked me out again i said maybe. And i knew he was gonna leave the next day to go to memphis to visit his family for Thanksgiving. And before he left we were great and all lovey dovey.I even told him everything about me from what guys have done to me before him and that i really like him and he felt the same but i guess not. He came back i saw him like a week later and he has a girlfriend. But he couldnt even tell me about this new girl. And he doesnt even take my feeling into consideration and when one of my best friend tells me this my heart shatters into a million peices. He told he loved me multiple times and i told him i did too maybe 2/3 times cause i didnt wanna get hurt like all these other guys screwed me over. And what really hurts the most he knew how i felt and i think he was trynna keep it from me but idc about that anymore. i feel really betrayed, confused,irritable,losing interest, and alot more. And when i go to church he’s always there and sunday he just in bible study had to sit infront of me but at the time i didnt know about them. he just keep looking up from his phone and would just stare at me. Then during church like every 5 minutes he would look back at me and try to make eye contact and when i wouldnt he’d get his brother since were close to get me to look at me and start tellin me; i love you, your the only one i wanna be with. all i had to say is i hear you. and every few minutes he’d just stare at me to see what i was doing. i’d probably be talking to my friend, Barbara bout whats goin on and he’d be staring at us to find out what we were saying.And when she told me he was looking dead at me and smiling whispering ily(i love you). But obviously you dont love me you love your new chick. text her like you talk to me, call her, message her at 10/11 at night next time cause were done. But his sister thinks when they break up im gonna come running for those muscular arms but i dont think so. But who knows whats gonna happen between us.and i dont see why he is worring about me worry about your new gf;). i really feel like he played me and ill never be happy the way we were. well never be friends like we use to though. He’s a little bit taller than me h’s like maybe 5’6/7 maybe but im 5’5. he gives me those amazing bare huggs.And his lips are way bigger than mine but he dont gotta worry about me ever kissing him again in my natural born life i gotta be either tipsy or high as fuck frfr.and if he ever think that he gonna put them lips on my lips, neck or anywhere else thats a NEGATIVE right ther idc(i dont care) about whos in that room. Im going through this heart break because i had so much on the line and for you to act like it was nothing and you cant even tell me that i want you to move on cause ive found somebody for now to replace you. or something like that. But i just hope he knows nobody can replace me the way i make him feel and nobody could replace him and he knows that. Even if i tried really hard to replace him with one of his family members it wouldnt be the same feeling it’d be just making him jealous and he thinks that he’s hard like that. And im just tired of playing these childish people.

  11. sheila says:

    i need help dec 2nd 2007 i fell in love with a man and spent everyday with him for six years we had alot of problems in or relationship but i always loved him and i thought he loved me about two years ago we seperated and not even a month after we seperated he married an ex girlfriend of his from his younger years and for the past two years he has been coming in and out of my life playing with my head and takeing advantage of the fact that i am still in love with him well now he has a baby on the way and he still playing his games with me and trying to make me feel gulty for everything bad that hes going through cause him and his wife cant get along and he wants to run back to me every time they have a fight and i just want to be able to say no but how how do you turn someone away that you have loved for 8 years now i just wish i could forget everything about him and move on with my life there has even been times when i tryed moving on and then he hears about it and comes back in my life long enough to mess it up too cause i always let him control my heart how am i suppose to find true love if i cant let go of what i thought was love please help me find myself again

  12. Upset says:

    I was with this guy then we broke up but we are still sorta friends. He did terrible things and he even dated my friend after he dated me (still friends with the person he dated) I can’t seem to move on because every time I see him and talk to him I never want it to end. Its so stupid that i still have these strong feelings for him but i cant control it. His friend told me the other day he stilled like me too and then he admitted it to me. I couldn’t tell him how i felt because of my friend. Now he says he will probably avoid me and try to move on. I wanted to tell him so badly but i know i can’t and if he stops talking to me it will be hell. Help, Please!

  13. Amber says:

    Can anyone give me advice? I became obsessed with this girl the day I sat next to her in biology. Ever since I met her…everything has been about her, She consumed me. after a year we got together and right when we got together I had to move. Boom. We now entered a long distance relationship that actually lasted 7 months. The problem? I have trust issues but am utterly in love STILL and when I broke up with her out of fear I lost her entirely. Shes not talking to me I don’t want to seem desperate and keep bugging her (too late) but I fucking love her and im sorry. I just want to talk to her and see how she is but shes totally avoiding me. How do I move on Im desperately hurt and confused I don’t know what to do

  14. NENE says:

    my boyfriend stop seeing with me and still seeing my daughter my heart is in so much pain.

  15. NENE says:

    sleeping with me and start sleeping with my daughter

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