The Confusing Part
Sometimes a breakup feels so sudden. Maybe you were fighting a little bit more, but that’s no reason to end it! So what, you were going through a rough patch? Now, you’re sitting here blaming yourself for being too needy, or nagging him too much.
“If only I didn’t do_______, we would still be together.”
“If I hadn’t said_________, he would still be mine.”
A Secret, He Was Already Gone!
Let me let you in on a little secret. Relationships don’t end because of one fight, or even 10. Relationships don’t end because of that One Wrong Thing You Said. If your relationship ended suddenly, or feels like it came out of nowhere…
Then, I’ll let you in on the truth! It didn’t happen as sudden as you think! He was already thinking about ending it. In fact he was probably looking for a way out.
And now, you’re sitting here blaming yourself for those tiny little things you said or did. One sentence playing in your head, over and over again. I get it, it’s difficult, when you’re broken hearted and you look back on the relationship. You see all of the good things that two of you had. All of the great memories.
Remember that phrase? “Hindsight is always 20/20.”
Well, that’s what you’re experiencing right now. Stop blaming yourself, because I’m pretty sure right now you have blinders on. You’re seeing yourself as the bad guy! Remind yourself that in every relationship there are two! You didn’t act alone, it takes two to tango, it takes two to fight.
So, here’s the secret. If a man is looking for a way out, then he might pick a fight. Or he might twist your words around. He might try to push your buttons on purpose. Or talk about a subject he knows will make you upset. Once you do get upset, and your emotions are high, and you try to speak your mind…
He might say any of these key phrases:
“You’re being too emotional”
“Why do you always have to do this?”
“I can’t do this anymore.”
“You’re acting crazy.”
“You’re being irrational.”
This is his way of NOT dealing with the situation. He doesn’t want to fight about it anymore. He doesn’t want to come to an agreement. He doesn’t want to solve the problem. In his mind he has already made a choice. And this is his way out.
Blaming Yourself Won’t Help
So, why is this important? Well, I’m hoping to help you understand that a breakup rarely happens overnight. So stop playing over and over in your mind the last thing you said or did. The last thing he said or did. It’s only going to make things worse. And it’s going to make the pain cut deeper. That’s my first piece of advice. Stop blaming yourself.
If you’re trying to figure out what happened and you can’t seem to understand, but you want to understand, then write to me. (email@example.com)
Better yet, remember to set up your free 1 hour consultation with me so I can help you find some clarity.
What to expect in our first 1 hour call:
-letting go of painful emotions and memories
-letting go of obsessive thoughts about him
-understand his “why?”
-find out what really happened between the two you and why it ended
Schedule Here: https://www.timetrade.com/book/5QNCH
with gratitude,Katya Morozova Breakup Advice Counselor firstname.lastname@example.org Google+