How To Stop Beating Yourself Up After A Breakup


How Could I Let This Happen?

A lot of women blame themselves after a breakup.  They ask themselves questions like..

What if I had been more understanding?  Or, What if I was less bitchy then would he still be here?

How could I ruin something so perfect?  And, How could I do the things I did?

I’m going to teach you an empowering tool that will help you stop beating yourself up after a breakup and have him see that it was his loss.

The Power Of Questions

A breakup is so emotional and makes us ladies feel so all over the place and out of control that we forget what’s really happening.  Your emotional part of your brain has hijacked the logical part! You can’t think straight.  You can’t focus at work.  You generally feel like you’re walking around in a haze.

But what’s happening underneath all of that?  Well, your mind is asking yourself a bunch of questions that you might not be aware of.  And during a breakup those questions can be pretty nasty.

Like, why doesn’t he think I’m pretty enough?  How am I ever going to love again?  How could he leave me?  What did I do?  What kind of person am I to be treated like this?

Any of these sound familiar?  Your breakup makes you ask these questions.  And unfortunately, questions like these lead to NO good answers.  They lead to disempowering answers.

So How Can I Turn This Around? 

Well, that’s a good start!  Start asking yourself empowering questions.  Like, how CAN I turn this around?

What can I learn from this?  What did this relationship have to teach me?  How can I become a better woman through this?

You might say, well, that’s great, Katya!  But, who’s supposed to answer these questions for me?

Well, if you believe in a higher power, or in the power of your inner voice, then you can leave it in their hands.  You have answered challenging questions before in life.  Like, why isn’t this relationship working?  Your question was answered and now you are on a new life path.

I don’t mean to diminish your pain, but this is just the transition part, and change is never easy.

Remember the quote, “ask and you shall receive.”

If you ask for pain you will receive it.  Instead, ask for forgiveness, for love, for compassion.  Ask for direction and clarity.  Then listen to that inner guide, or higher guide, and receive the answer.


with gratitude,

Breakup Advice Counselor 

1 Comment

  1. W says:

    I just feel an Immense amount of Guilt. I broke up with him because the stress of a college relationship got to me but I immediately regretted it. I missed him so much. I told hiim this a few days later and he said he “wants to enjoy college.” I said ok. After this he started ignoring me, not responding to my texts, not wanting to meet up to talk. It hurt me so badly. I cried and tried to be patient but started realizing that if he could just ditch me like this he never really cared about me in the first place and that made me so angry and hurt. The last straw was on his birthday. He told me he had been busy and wasn’t doing much so I got him a card and asked if we could meet up so I could give it to him. He told me he was busy. He blew me off for 3 days straight and I finally exploded. I got so angry and frustrated that I went off on him. He didn’t know why I was angry but he wouldn’t listen to how much it hurt that he completely forgot about me and stopped talking to me when I told him how sorry I was and I made a mistake. He never told me he needed time to think. He never told me he was hurt himself. I told him numerous times how much it hurt that he didn’t even want to meet and talk and he acted like I didn’t say anything. I miss him but I went off on him so we’re over foreal. I wish I would have controlled my temper better but I got so angry. Now I”m angry at the world, lonely and he is having a blast with his new girlfriend. He told me he didn’t know what love was but is now putting on his facebook that “Is this the real thing” referring to falling in love with his new GF. I want to be over him so badly. He is 18 and I’m 20

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