I Know A Secret About Your Ex

Breakups hurt, but losing someone who doesn't ...

You’re not going to like this!  

You know when you’re ex does those really weird things after a breakup?  Like, acts really wishy washy?  Or says he’s going to call and then he doesn’t and then acts like you’re a total stranger?  One minute he’s hot, next minute, ice cold!

What is that?  Why is he acting like that?  Well, my business partner… who’s also a man… a really cool man, in fact, who coaches men through their breakups, let me in on a little secret.  He was hesitant to tell me, so as not to breach his pact with his “man tribe”, but knew that it would be useful for my female coaching clients.

What he told me about me about men was kind of shocking?  As a woman, it kind of got my blood boiling a bit.

The Secret He Doesn’t Want You To Know

Okay, so brace yourself.  I’m going to tell you, but first I need to know if you’ve had any of these thoughts, questions, or gut feelings about your ex since you guys ended things.

“It feels like he’s toying with me.”

“Why is he acting hot and cold?”

“Why does he disappear and just when I start accepting he’s gone, he comes back?”

“He’s not being the decision maker.”

“He’s all over the place.”

If any of these sound familiar, I gotta tell you, it’s not a good sign.  What this means is that he’s toying with you.  Now, before you run off trying to slash his tires, let me tell you that he’s probably not doing this on purpose.  More than likely, he’s doing it unconsciously.

See what my partner shared with me verbatim is this, “he’s keeping her around, just enough to keep her in his orbit.”

Okay, so why is he doing this, torturing you like this?  Well, the truth is that men are territorial.  He wants to keep you close enough so that he knows you’re not going to go grab a rebound, or hook up with someone else.  Though, this isn’t the case for everyone, it’s pretty common.  Men get jealous, too!  He also is probably confused about his own feelings and doesn’t quite want to let you go till he knows what his next move is, or sometimes worse, till he finds his own rebound.  Now, that sucks!  That doesn’t feel good at all.

So, What Are You Going To Do About It? 

Well, I’m not trying to tell you this secret just to dig into the pain.  I’m telling you so you can wake up from this post-breakup haze.  Ask yourself, if the person that you thought you were in love, and who was supposed to love you, starts treating you like you’re “just another girl”, is it worthwhile to stick around?  And is it worth your time to constantly be depressed about an individual who is no longer taking your love seriously?

I only ask because I know you’re worth more.  I’m pretty blunt when it comes to this because I know that your family and friends maybe won’t be.  Plus, I’m the impartial one here, so it’s my job to tell you like it is.

I’m more interested in you finding happiness and love again.  I’m interested in you feeling whole and alive again, and parting that mist that’s in front of your eyes.

Take on my perspective for just a minute and see if you can let go of him just a little bit more.

 

with gratitude,

Katya
Breakup Advice Counselor
katya@breakupadvice.com

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1 Comment

  1. Josh says:

    Shit…..what about women. I believe it was eve who took the first step in by taking the fruit. So how come men can’t get screwed.

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