What To Do If She’s “Playing Games”

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Does your ex-girl keep coming in and out of your life?

One minute she’s hot, asking you to come over… and the next minute you text her something sweet and she acts like an ice queen!

Does it feel, at times, like you’re almost over her… and it’s, as if, in those moments some mystical power whispers in her ear, “hey, his leash is almost broken… you need to go f*ck with him, again”?

If you’re starting to feel like she can sense that she has you on a string, or that even you know your chances of getting back together are pretty low, yet you keep going back to her… It might be time to do something about it.

Why “Being There For Her” Is Killing Your Chances

A lot of guys feel powerless to act in this type of situation because they think that if they’re not around when she’s “in the mood” to hang out with them, or be sweet to them via text or phone, that she will be gone forever and that they’ll screw up any last chances they have with her.

This is a common misperception. The signal that is sent to your ex if you are constantly ready to be there for her at every beckoning call is that she can call you or hang out with you on her terms. One way to test if you’re doing things on her terms is noticing that when she wants something you’re always there, but if you want to do something, or text her something and want a response, it’s “crickets” on her end.

So, What’s Wrong With This Scenario?

If she knows that she can have you when she wants you she will lose respect for you. If you look back to the very beginning, when you first started dating her, you probably weren’t “hanging the moon” for her. In fact, you were probably Mr. Cool. You did things with her on your terms. You weren’t too eager to see her and you had your game face on. There might have even been an air of mystery around you, and she might have wondered or even asked you to see if you were into her! This was a time when she had a lot of respect for you, because she knew that you were being yourself and that you were fine without her.

How To Be Fine Without Her So She Will Stop Playing Games

So, how do you get back to that place where you had her respect, like it was in the beginning? You have to be the one that “leans back” and draws boundaries with her, again. She needs to know that she can’t have you all of the time. She needs to know that you are living an awesome life and not sitting around “waiting for her to call”.

A part of this is unconscious for women, so if you feel like she’s doing this on purpose, she’s probably not! It’s more of a feeling that she gets when she knows she’s got you. That unconscious feeling for her is that you don’t know how to draw any boundaries with her, that she can do whatever she wants, and you will still be there.

In her mind, this will make her lose respect and attraction for you because she’ll see that you are no longer the strong man that she fell in love with. While, she may keep you around, if she doesn’t feel like you respect yourself enough to be strong with her by not letting her waltz in and out of her life as she pleases, she will stop looking at you as boyfriend material.

1 Boundary That Will Make Her “Miss You” 

If your ex continues to come “in and out” of your life, she will start to believe that you’re okay with this arrangement. She will have no need to be your girlfriend because in this scenario she can have her cake and eat it, too.

The first boundary you can put in place is:

DON’T Being Available All Of The Time. 

By creating distance between the two of you, you are giving her the opportunity to miss you, and even want to come back to you.

One example of this is actually NOT being available all of the time.

Fill up your nights and weekends with activities, so that you are actually busy. So, that if she does reach out, you can say that you’re not available right now, instead of just trying to fake it.

Then, if she does want to hang out, you can text/say to her:

“Tonight is no good. I’m busy. Maybe another night”

This will spark two things in her; she will wonder what’s gotten into you. She will also wonder what you’re doing “tonight”?

This gives her an opportunity to think about what YOU’RE doing. This will also break the pattern where she was used to you always saying YES whenever she wanted you. This will also remind her that you have a busy life and that you’re not sitting around waiting for her.

This technique will start to create a sense of longing in her. Use this technique on a consistent basis to start to gain her respect back for you.

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