Why Her “Reason” For The Breakup Is A Lie

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Why Do Women Lie About Their “Reason”?

If you look back at your breakup and at her reasons for it, something smells fishy, right?

The hard part is that even if you mentioned that you thought the breakup was actually about something else, she denies it. Or maybe you keep asking her if there’s something you did and she claims it was nothing.

It feels like there’s something she’s not telling you, that if she would actually tell you… you would try to fix it! But it’s, as if, she’s completely shut you out!

The worst part is you’re driving yourself crazy replaying in your mind the last conversations, texts, moments, between you and her, looking for clues.

Why She’s Sticking To Her Guns

So, why is she acting this way? And how do you get her to open up?

The truth is that it probably wasn’t one thing that did it. We’ll dive into that in just a second…

But, first, remember that the reason women withhold information is because they’re trying to protect you. Usually, they think that the real reason might hurt you, or upset you. Or it’s possible that she’s protecting herself because she thinks you’re going to argue with her and try to debunk her case against you.

At this stage in the breakup, she’s holding onto her reason because she’s made up her mind. Holding onto one firm reason is keeping her from feeling a lot of emotion, it’s keeping her committed to her decision for leaving, because she knows that if she does let you in, you might try to convince her out of the breakup.

So, the first thing to keep in mind is that her “playing mum” is keeping her resolute.

Her “Real” Reason For The Breakup

The truth is, usually, there isn’t just one reason. The reality is that there are probably many. When it feels like there are things she’s not telling you it’s possible that she’s been building her case against your relationship, for sometime, without you knowing it.

I know that may seem unfair. The reality is that it probably started at one point where there was a drop off in the relationship. “Something happened”, something you said or did set her off, upset her, or frustrated her. And then that issue went unresolved.

An example of something like this is, maybe she was having a bad day and she needed you, she tried to get your attention or support, and didn’t get it. You were caught up in work or maybe you were at home vegging out watching tv, or you brushed her off because you didn’t want to deal with it, or didn’t realize what was going on. In that moment she felt alone, hurt, or got pissed off and in response, told herself that you weren’t capable of providing her the emotional support she needs. This is one broad example. In this case if this issue wasn’t resolved… she would then continue to look for clues in the relationship supporting your behavior, building the case that you were an “unsupportive boyfriend”.

Then each time you were “emotionally unsupportive” would be marked as a tally against you. Mind you, most women are unconscious that this is actually happening for them, it’s possible they feel like they can’t communicate with you, or they don’t know how. She also hasn’t really connected to the reason she feels you’re “emotionally unsupportive”, and instead just feels continuously hurt by you on multiple occasions. In her mind, all of those reasons are different, she’s just going on how she feels.

She’s Telling The Truth To Someone Else

Later she goes to seek guidance elsewhere. She might go talk with her friends about you and get advice from them. She might seek the support of her family or coworkers. All the while, sharing this “story” about how you are with her, and of course, they’re her friends, and family, and are going to take her side. Time goes by and she’s convincing herself out of the relationship without clueing you in on it. Then, one final thing sets her off and she gives you her “reason” for the breakup.

It’s Never One Thing!

Well, first you must connect to this idea that a breakup is never about one thing. Understand that she doesn’t want to dig up all that stuff from the past and throw it at you… She probably can’t consciously access those instances. That would take a lot of self awareness and willingness on her part… and remember, at this point, she’s resolute. Finally, understand that there were probably many silent-miscommunications in your relationship that led you to this place. Rarely, is it one thing!

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