Why Your Ex Stopped “Responding” To You

Are You Still Trying To Get Her Back, But She Won’t Respond?

You’ve tried everything… calling her, texting her, telling her that you miss her and you want her back, begged, even pleaded with her, told her how much you want to work on things…

The only thing you’re getting from her, though, is “crickets”. In fact, it’s starting to feel like the more you try to do or say the more she pushes you away. It almost feels like she’s repulsed by you the more you tell her how you truly feel about her, and the sweeter you are to her.

This is the same “girlfriend” who used to eat up your “I love yous” and sweet advances. So, what’s changed?

Why Won’t She Respond?

If she’s not responding, even though, it feels like you’re telling her everything you think she would want to hear… you’re missing one big point!

Your now “ex” girlfriend has changed her mind about you. if she has gone so far as to breakup with you, that means she no longer sees you as boyfriend material. I know that may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. That doesn’t mean that you can’t change her mind, and it doesn’t mean that you aren’t worthy of being her boyfriend. It does mean that your current “boyfriend” behavior, the “I love yous” and “I miss yous”, are unattractive to her.

Every time you beg, plead, express your undying love to her, the only message that she is really going to hear is that you are still hung up on her and that she can come back around to you when she pleases.

Why Is This Idea So Backwards?

I know that this may seem counterintuitive, that your advances are actually pushing her away. “Can’t she see how much I love her?!”, you may think!

Going back to this idea that now that you’re broken up and she’s a free woman, she is back in the “single mindset”. Obviously, a “relationship mindset” is different from a “single mindset”. When you are in a relationship you consciously cater to the needs, and desires of the person that you have chosen to be with. You have a genuine interest in how they feel and how you make them feel. Now, I don’t have to ask you how different it feels to be single. You, generally, don’t feel the urge to answer to anyone, your emotions aren’t deeply intertwined with another, and you are free to do what you want when you want without consideration for someone else’s feelings.

“But She’s My Girlfriend!”

This is a part of the relationship that sucks! The part where you have to come to terms with the fact that she’s no longer your girlfriend, and that she’s not looking at you from the lens of being her “boyfriend”. Which is the reason for her “mum” behavior. If she was still invested in you as her boyfriend, she would respond like she used to. So, stop rationalizing her behavior!

If you can accept this hard truth, you can take on a different mentality that could win her back and get her to start talking or texting with you, again.

Play Up The “Single Mentality”

If she’s acting like she’s single and disregarding your feelings it’s time to tango. This isn’t a contest, or a game. This is a dance!

That’s right! If your ex girl is now in the “single mentality” that means you get to be that powerful, single guy that can woo her, again.

Imagine you and her are meeting for the first time; you wouldn’t be telling her “I love you” and “I miss you”, begging and pleading to be with her. No way!

You would be the cool, suave guy that is casually flirting with her. The guy who isn’t so heavily invested on the outcome of your relationship with her. Again, I know this is counterintuitive, but imagine this is role playing.

What would you say? How would you behave if you had just met your ex girl and were starting from scratch? This is the mentality you want to take on if you want her to start responding to you, again.

Here Are Some Basic Actionable Tips To Get Into The “Single Mindset” With Her:  

    1. Lean back off of the “I love yous” and “I miss yous”. Stop texting her those things entirely. That includes just checking in on her and asking her “how are you?”… you know she’s fine, and that’s boring!
    2. Generate Excitement. Use humor in your texts. Send humorous, lighthearted, open ended texts. Use humor from your relationship, an inside joke, or something funny that happened to you recently. Don’t wait for a response, just leave it hanging.
    3. Let Her Text First. If you have been texting incessantly since the breakup. Stop. Let her come to you. If you stop texting for a little while, a few days, or a week, she will eventually wonder why you dropped off. This will create mystery, and will give her the opportunity to check up on you, for once. If she has any interest in you post-breakup, she will reach out.

 

 

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